Freelance Summit to Aid Writers, Editors

August 30th, 2010

Some of you are freelance writers or editors because you want to be. Some of you have taken the moniker because of the economy.

Many of you have found that writing/editing are the easy parts. Finding clients to write or edit for can be far more difficult. It requires you to think like a marketer instead of a writer and to become an entrepreneur instead of someone else’s employee.

The University of Chicago recognized your challenge and is holding its first-ever Freelance Summit Oct. 15, 2010. Four experts will share how to

  • Start/grow a freelance business
  • Network strategically before, during and after events and meetings
  • Approach associations and companies to keep the funnel full of leads
  • Stay up-to-date with your craft and choose educational/professional development opportunities.

I’ll be presenting “How to Build a New Kind of Wealth – Social Capital” for the networking portion of the program

For more details and to register, visit Graham School of General Studies at the University of Chicago

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Test Your People-reading Skills

August 22nd, 2010

About six months ago an out-of-town client called to ask my input. She was in a meeting with the president of an association where she is chairing the annual gala as a volunteer. Also present were several of her committee members as well as an outside consultant hired by the organization.

She noticed immediately that the consultant was sitting in the most powerful position at the rectangular table. Also that when she or her group asked questions, the consultant and the president often started to answer even before the asker was finished, with the consultant speaking over the president. When the president did speak, he often put his hand to his mouth/chin to accompany his remarks. When others spoke, particularly the consultant, the president would rub his neck, pulling at his collar. Quite a few times, she saw him pointlessly rearranging the papers in front of him

The consultant, on the other hand, was leaning into the conversation and had his hands on the table, often palms up.

She had earlier hired me to coach her in people-reading skills because she was impressed how I had “called” several things that had happened at her company … after observing the players at different events. It was a skill she wanted to hone.

Her simple question to me was, “Do you agree that the president may be on his way out? This is the second meeting where basically the same pattern has been replayed.”

“Yes,” I answered, “based on your description.”  Her comeback, “Could we spend an hour discussing what I can do before it happens? It’s important that the gala goes off without a hitch.”

A month ago, I got another phone call. The president had been let go, and the consultant was temporarily running the association. My client had “read” a situation and reacted to it before it happened. The gala is on track; in fact, she has amassed record-setting sponsorship.

How good are your “people-reading skills?” Are you at the college level or still in second or third grade? This economy particularly demands that you use the 90/10 rule …

Ninety percent of a message is communicated through the visual and vocal ingredients. Ten percent (or less) is through the words.

You say you know that rule? That’s highly likely; however, what do you do about it? Are you astute enough that you identify the messages and adjust in the moment or at least shortly thereafter?

Test Your Knowledge

Here are several questions based on the scenario I just described. There may be more than one correct answer. (Answers are at the end of the blog. Will you answer before you look?!) Learn more about body language in my workbook and CD, We Say It Without Words.

  1. The most powerful position at a rectangular table is the
    1. Head of the table.
    2. Middle of the longer side, facing the door.
    3. Middle of the longer side with your back to the door.   
  2. Those in power or who feel they are
    1. Let others provide the answers.
    2. Speaker louder than others and persevere.
    3. Try not to interrupt others.
  3. When you cover your mouth or chin with your hand while speaking, you
    1. May be stifling a cough.
    2. May be lying.
    3. Feel insecure and vulnerable.
  4. Rubbing your neck may indicate
    1. The person speaking is a pain in your neck.
    2. You are eager to hear what the other person has to say.
    3. You are uncomfortable.
  5. Aimlessly rearranging your materials on the table can mean
    1. You are fidgety, nervous or uncomfortable.
    2. You are well organized.
  6. Having palms up means
    1. You are trying to hide something.
    2. You are uncomfortable.
    3. You are being honest with people.

1. (2)

2. (2)

3. (1,2,3)

4. (1,3)

5. (1)

6. (3)

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May 5, 2011 Chosen for Premiere Chicago Networking Event

August 4th, 2010

I’m excited … really excited! I espouse in-person networking as the number one way to build relationships. I speak about it, write about it and train people in this art and science. So why am I especially excited? Because …

We have secured a date/venue for the 10th Greater Chicago Networking Extravaganza (GCNE) in 2011. I’m excited because this is the 10th (imagine how many upstart networking events have come and gone in 10 years!), and we are going as strong or stronger than ever. I’m excited because we have secured the same leading-edge venue we had last year: The Metropolitan Club in Chicago … served by one of the most professional staffs I have encountered in my many years of speaking and training across the country.

I’m excited because I co-founded the event and for the last 7 have had the pleasure to work with Jason Jacobsohn as my co-producer. We complement each other well. If you know the DISC behavioral style assessment, he’s the high SC: reserved, introspective, sincere, analytical, diplomatic (every event needs him!). I’m the high DI: outgoing, energetic, risk-taker, persuader, promoter … and we respect and benefit from each other’s strengths.

Most of all, I’m excited because we make a difference in people’s lives.

  • Richard Landman, president, Diamond Management Group, says “You have a total package that sets you apart. You provide relevant information, structured exercises, opportunities to meet new people and to practice what is being taught in a very comfortable, yet realistic, environment.”
  • Jeffrey Mitchell, Keller Graduate School of Management and Chicago Networking Examiner, puts it this way: “The GCNE is one of those events I highly anticipate and plan to attend every year. Each year they deliver a fun and informative networking event with a format that allows me to meet at least 20 high-caliber connections. The event quality also makes it a good sponsorship opportunity and elevates your company’s brand by introducing you to a diverse crowd of high-quality professionals. See you there in 2011!”
  • Chris Szulc, president, OpenView Corporation, added, “The GCNE was a fantastic networking event that brought in numerous professionals from various industries. I was able to take away great networking tips and strategies from Jason and Lillian, plus gain many great leads and networking partners. I was even able to establish a partnership with another sponsor. Surely I will be in attendance next year!”

I’m excited because Jason and I have an opportunity to meet and inspire you May 5, 2011 at the Metropolitan Club in Chicago. I really hope you will be there! Contact me if you are interested in a sponsorship opportunity. Now’s the time to maximum value for a minimum investment!

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How Casual is too Casual When it Comes to Summer Clothing?

July 18th, 2010

As I walk to a client’s office from Union Station in Chicago, I am entertained by a continuing clip-clap or maybe better termed flip-flop from women who share the sidewalk. Flip-flops are all around me. Granted, some are gold and some are silver; however, they are still flip-flops.

It amazes me how beachwear has become office wear and makes me wonder if women still wonder why the glass ceiling may be even lower in their office … or cubicle.

All this flip-flopping got me to pay more attention to what else these women were wearing … and in some cases not very much. No hose, of course, since Sex in the City put an end to covering up spider and varicose veins. Those four women may not have them; women walking to work on the same sidewalks I use do have them … in plain view.

Lot of bare arms, too, and many of them are not nearly as buff as Michelle Obama’s. A whole lot of flip-flopping going on there, too. Can’t help but wonder how many of these women sit in top-level meetings looking like this … or if they ever will. 

Lots of sundresses and major cleavage. I’ve always been one to believe that is much more appropriate for your personal life.

All this made me curious enough to ask a half dozen men of various ages what they think of flip flops, bare legs and short skirts, bare arms and lots of cleavage in their offices. All thought it was very interesting … and inappropriate and unprofessional in the office.

Maybe these are women looking for less office time and more personal time, i.e., someone to take care of them.

Hope they don’t spoil it for the women who truly want higher and higher glass ceilings!

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Are You a Better Communicator Now?

July 1st, 2010

It’s over.

National Effective Communication Month ended at midnight yesterday. Typically, I don’t pay a lot of attention to things like this because every cause seems to have its own month … or its own association.

This one is different. Communication is at the heart of our business and personal relationships. Doing it well leads to happier employees, a better bottom line and a better functioning family unit. Doing it poorly leads to inferior results manifesting themselves in myriad ways.

Doing it well is an on-going challenge because communication is a process made up of difficult simultaneous activities. You have to multi-task to be a good communicator.

One of these activities is listening, by far the number one human relations skill. You show people how much you care by how you listen.  Yet can you remember the last time you were engaged in the communication process and spent 100% time listening?

If you were talking in person, you undoubtedly were evaluating the person’s image, another communication ingredient. How you look and act often “scream” information about you as well as the person to whom you are speaking. How can you concentrate on the words when the man has a spot on his tie or the woman has a plunging neckline under her suit?

Being the sender or speaker is another vital component of the communication process. If you spent 100% of your time listening, will you have a well-prepared response … or are you tempted to prepare your reply while the other person is still speaking? You might even be so enthusiastic that, horror of horrors, you interrupt. Imagine how well that person will now listen to you as s/he cogitates about how you didn’t allow her/him to finish!

You have the idea. The same challenges exist on the telephone. New ones emerge when you become engaged in writing, another important communication component. They manifest themselves when you write a letter (some people still do!), create a proposal, email, tweet, blog, text, etc.

I trust that my last four blogs have been helpful and that as we move forward from the month dedicated to improving this skill, you will stay tuned to “hear” more ways to improve your vital communication and networking skills.

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What do the Fourth of July and In-person Networking Have in Common?

June 24th, 2010

As we get ready to celebrate the birth of the United States of America, I want to remind you there is a strong connection between the holiday and in-person networking.

Gen. Israel Putnam, who commanded the Revolutionary Army at the Battle of Bunker Hill and helped pave the way for the Declaration of Independence, said the oft-repeated words, “Men, you are all marksmen – don’t one of you fire until you see the white of their eyes.” The best way by far to start building relationships is also to see the white of someone’s eyes.

Lest I be misunderstood in this age of online networking (I won’t call it online social networking because face-to-face is definitely social, too!), I want to share immediately that both methods are important and compatible. In-person, however, can be effective in and of itself. Meeting someone online frequently does not stand alone.

Face-to-face took a back seat as people clamored to become part of the online connected generation. In fact, one person I asked to do a testimonial for the new third edition of Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships That Last a year ago said, “Sure, even though you talk mostly about old-fashioned networking.” I sought other testimonials!

My increasing requests for speaking engagements on face-to-face techniques lead me to believe people again realize the value of this form of networking to increase sales, find a job and build solid relationships. Another trend in the Chicago area is that LinkedIn groups that appear to have been formed strictly online are now having in-person events. Doesn’t surprise me!

In-person networking is the safest, most effective, easiest and preferred way to begin accumulating the kind of wealth you need throughout your life: social capital, i.e., a large network of knob turners to open doors to whatever you are seeking.

  • Live interaction. About 90 percent of in-person communication is conveyed through nonverbal actions. Your walk, posture, handshake, eye contact, facial expressions and appearance as well as your tone, rate, pitch, speed and inflection share volumes with those who are astute people readers. This form of communication is missing online. Underlines, bold type and exclamation marks can’t replace a smile, a furrowed brow or a firm handshake. Words account for only 10 percent. Online, they have to work super hard to compensate for what else is missing.
  • Telephone calls. If someone you want to meet is geographically inaccessible, the second best thing is to spend quality time with her/him on the telephone because you can at least engage the person in an interactive conversation and hear voice modularities.
  • The knowledge and trust factors. You do business with people you know and trust or people referred by people you know and trust. Both ingredients are established more quickly when you meet face-to-face. Would you rather do business with someone your associate refers after meeting her/him in person … or online? It’s difficult to engender trust based on your LinkedIn profile alone. (Who monitors that the information is factual?) The profile, however, can be a great way to enhance information you already received or generate interest in setting up a live meeting.
  • Honesty and integrity. You can much more easily see that people are who they say they are and how they portray themselves when you see the white of their eyes. You also gain valuable information by listening and observing.
  • Immediacy of decision-making. One of the early decisions you make is whether it is worth pursing a mutually beneficial relationship. It is far easier to do in person as you share your “ask for” questions and measure responses against your “listen for” answers. Ask-for questions help you determine if the person is a first-degree candidate to help grow your business or further your career or a second-degree candidate because s/he knows someone who can help you or vice versa. “Listen-for” answers alert you if the person has relationship potential because s/he plays in your ballpark. 
  • Memorability. People remember you much more easily when they have met you in person. An online photo or video is helpful; however, it’s not like looking you in the eye and shaking your hand. Ensure your personal encounters are meaningful to gain top-of-mind positioning in your subject area.
  • Increased online contacts. Increased personal contacts will also help you increase your online contacts since many of you link only with people you know. You become more valuable as the size and quality of your network grows.

 Once you have invested the time and effort in face-to-face meetings, you can rely on online networking to stay in touch and strengthen your relationships. That’s where the two methods fit hand-in-glove.

May your Fourth of July celebrations lead to many sparkling relationship successes!

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Good Phone Skills Still Vital for Business Success (Part II)

June 16th, 2010

In addition to the professional phone image I discussed in Part I, it is also vital to be able to read people over the phone to increase your chances for personal and business success. Using the leading-edge DISC (Dominant, Influencing, Steady and Conscientious) communication styles, I’ll help you recognize the other person’s natural communication style so you know how to respond. It works even better when both of you are cognizant of each other’s style.

National Effective Communication month is a good time to examine this principle in more depth.

The principle is simple: When you communicate naturally you may be naturally conflictive with others. Since your pace and priority may differ from the other person, you can run into roadblocks as you play the roles of “sender” and “receiver” on the phone. This information is helpful in two major ways as you learn to:

  • Adapt and flex your own style when you find yourself “guilty” of any of the less-than-effective communication techniques that follow.
  • Adapt and flex to the other person’s style when s/he is determined to keep on communicating naturally with little regard to how it affects the outcome

How to Recognize Dominant People on the Telephone

Their blunt, confident, decisive, direct, impatient and take-charge style leads them to:

  • Choose time/date/place to meet.
  • Think and speak quickly.
  • Dislike interruptions, yet interrupt frequently.
  • Get right to the point, may bypass “hello.”
  • Have a clear purpose in mind ahead of time and speak in bullet style.
  • Speak authoritatively and powerfully.

How to Respond to “Ds” on the Telephone

  • Be clear and succinct.
  • Be immune to their brusqueness.
  • Don’t give details, unless asked.
  • End the conversation when they appear to quit responding; undoubtedly, their attention span has waned.
  • Plug your remarks into their goals.
  • Summarize, summarize, summarize.

How to Recognize Influencing People on the Telephone

Their enthusiastic, optimistic, energetic style leads them to:

  • Begin with an upbeat “hello.”
  • Hold side conversations with another person in office/at home while talking on phone; may have radio and/or TV on, too.
  • Show wide range of emotions through rate, pitch, tone, rhythm, inflection.
  • Speak faster and faster as excitement mounts.
  • Talk about weather, the weekend, vacations, whatever – before getting down to business.

How to Respond to high “Is” on the Telephone

  • Ask them to repeat if they speak too quickly during an outburst.
  • End the conversation – even if they called you.
  • Respond quickly when given a chance to speak.
  • Set a timer beforehand.
  • Try to get in more than “hello.”
  • If a business call, keep steering them back to topic at hand.

 How to Recognize Steady People on the Telephone

Their amicable, cooperative, harmonious tendencies may lead them to:

  • Begin with a warm “hello.”
  • Convey a calm, friendly environment.
  • Listen well.
  • Personify good customer service.
  • Speak slowly and carefully.
  • Think before speaking; be comfortable with long pauses.

How to Respond to “Ss” on the Telephone

  • Be amicable and sincere.
  • Don’t demand or push.
  • Ask about their family.
  • End the conversation if you are the caller.
  • Provide information slowly, methodically.
  • Refrain from unloading on them; they will listen politely until you’re done.
  • Don’t finish their sentences, even when they take a while to convey their thoughts.

How to Recognize Conscientious People on the Telephone

Their cautious, precise and reserved qualities may lead them to:

  • Begin formally: “Good morning, Ms. Bjorseth. This is Jean Doe. I am returning your call from Friday.”
  • Critique and analyze what you have said before responding; be comfortable with long, silent periods.
  • Give you facts rather than opinions.
  • “Observe” your tone and words to get the meaning.

How to Respond to “Cs” on the Telephone

  • Allow them time to analyze, and refrain from filling the silence.
  • Avoid small talk.
  • Don’t ask personal questions, and keep your personal affairs to yourself.
  • Have facts in order before you call.
  • Use their titles – Dr., Mr., Ms. – unless well acquainted.

People respond much better when spoken with in their style, even if it makes you more uncomfortable in the short run. You can return to your natural style when you hang up. Your desire to return to your natural style, in fact, can speed up the call and save you time. When you are talking with Influencing people, you will likely have to expend extra effort to speed up the call. Like that famous bunny, they can go on and on and on!

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Good Phone Skills Still Vital to Business Success (Part I)

June 13th, 2010

It’s easy to tell confident business people when you meet them: Good posture, firm handshakes, direct eye contact and a powerful aura. While confidence is just as important to portray over the phone for business success, it’s done differently and can be more difficult to attain for many people.

Furthermore, the widespread use of email has caused many individuals to forget the importance of good telephone skills and many companies to abandon skills training. They are more apt to think it’s not essential for the few times they may have to “sell” on the phone. How wrong they are! One missed or botched sale is far too many!

Others fall into the same syndrome I find when teaching business writing: I know how to use a pencil; therefore, I can write, i.e., I know how to talk; hence, I know how to communicate verbally on the phone.

Read on … if you want to enhance your telephone effectiveness during June, the National Effective Communication month.

  • Since your vocal components convey more than 80 percent of your message over the phone, you need to be particularly aware of your tone, rate, volume, pitch and inflection. Your words account for less than 20 percent.
  • Since women typically have a naturally higher-pitched voice than men, you benefit from saying “low, low” before you pick up and say “hello.” It helps eliminate that high-pitched “Hi.”
  • Stand up when you want to project more authority. Height is power, and the difference is noticeable even on the phone.
  • Keep your lips ½ to 1 inch from the mouthpiece and speak directly into it. You lose 70 percent of your volume when you allow the phone to slip below your chin.
  • Don’t balance the phone between your ear and shoulder for a protracted period. You strain your vocal cords and speak out of the side of your mouth. This becomes apparent to the other person in a longer conversation. A headset is preferable for lengthy talks and, particularly, when you wish to take notes.
  • Vary your tone. Guard against the boredom that creeps in because you can’t see the person or because they are droning on (or so it appears to you). Pretend you can see each other to keep you on your toes.
  • Keep your rate in check. Don’t speak so quickly that the person on the other end thinks you have to rush off to something more important … or s/he simply can’t keep up with your thoughts. Conversely, don’t move so slowly that the other person resorts to playing computer solitaire to stay entertained.
  • Put a smile in your voice before you pick up the phone and keep a mirror near by to keep the smile there. Your attitude “shows” in your voice.
  • Sit or stand up straight like the Empire State Building. Your voice was meant to project in this manner, not like it is emanating from a pretzel.
  • Also project your voice by breathing from your diaphragm, not through your lungs. When you breathe through your lungs only, you run out of breath and sound as if you are out of energy and certainly enthusiasm.
  • Avoid negative emotional carryover from a previous call. If you are making another call, clear your head by taking a walk or getting a drink of water. If the call is coming in to you, either let voice mail pick up the message or take a deep breath and use the power of positive thinking to clear your mind quickly.
  • When you initiate the call
    • Ask if this is a good time to talk.
    • Be prepared. Clearly state your purpose and have all backup materials handy. Take notes as needed.
    • Make sure your equipment is operational and professional. Don’t call on a cell phone if you are in danger of losing the signal. This indicates lack of preparedness on your part.
  • Close the conversation with a summary, follow up plans (if appropriate), and a “thank you” for time spent.

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June is Time to Polish What You Say Before You Speak

June 6th, 2010

There are 84,600 seconds in a day. Yet, it takes only 10 or fewer to make a first impression.

June is National Effective Communication month, and I will be sharing communication tips in my blog throughout the month.

One of the ways you make a first impression is through your image, a combination of appearance and behavior. It is the basis for the unconscious and conscious decisions people make about you before you ever engage in a conversation. You speak volumes before you open your mouth.

It’s crucial to know what you ‘say’ in meetings, job interviews and when you are presenting whether your audience is one or one thousand. Your image could make the difference between getting the job, the sale or the promotion … or not.

 Follow these ten tips to polish what you say before you speak.

  1. Become a student of Impression Management.  Decide what impression you want to make in your business and personal interactions, and then learn how to make that impression through your appearance and behavior. 
  2. Identify the unconscious messages that every color sends and determine how those messages fit into your master plan.  Know what colors say power and authority, dependability, calmness, excitement, ordinary, cleanliness and much, much more.
  3. Recognize how the style and fit of your clothes affect how people perceive you.  Learn the powerful role of a suit jacket and when to button it or leave it open. Find a tailor to make your clothes look as if they were designed for you.
  4. Know the difference between business casual and casual wear. Stick with the former if your company culture is more relaxed … even on the most casual of days. Differentiate yourself professionally!
  5. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.  Become identified with levels above you rather than below your job title.
  6. Check your ensemble front, back and sideways in a full-length mirror every time you get ready to leave your home. See what others see from every angle.
  7. Walk with confidence.  The way you stride down a hallway or sidewalk or into a room is a powerful first clue to how you feel about yourse
  8. Stand as if you own the world.  Once you have stopped walking, your posture becomes your telltale sign.  It tells people how you want to be treated.
  9. Shake hands authoritatively.  Learn how to do so and also the messages you and others send through how you grasp another person’s hand. 
  10. Use your face to your advantage.  You send about 75 percent of your nonverbal messages through your face.  Make good grooming a must. Consider the rest of your body as a pedestal for the most expressive part of your body.

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In-person Networking Key Way to Get a Job

May 29th, 2010

You already know the answer. Sometimes, you may wish you didn’t.

If an employer has two equally good resumes and knows one of the people or has received a referral for one of them from someone s/he knows or trusts, there’s little doubt who will get first priority in the hiring process.

With the hundreds of thousands of people in transition as the U.S. unemployment rate flirts with 10 percent, it continues to amaze me how many of you think you might get your next job by simply sending resumes to online job sites or offers you find there.

Online job sites are a source of jobs to be sure, however, have you forgotten the basics you learned in marketing 101? Did you “forget” the need to sell your benefits, the need to differentiate yourself, the need to be confident … in person as you look prospective employers in the eye or the people who will get to know and trust you so they will refer you in good faith?

In-person networking takes more time and may cost more; however, consider its value. Networking is planting seeds, and the more fertile the ground in which you plant those seeds, the more likely you are to reap a good harvest. Meeting just one “right” person can lead to a relationship that can help you in the present and for years to come and open the door to countless other people.

The key is to network strategically. If you have created your written relationship-building plan as I detail in Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships That Last than you won’t look for trout in catfish ponds. You won’t be spending time or money at events where your target market or those who know your target market are not even in attendance, which leads to even more frustration during your transitional period.

You also need to become a student of impression management, i.e., be aware of what you say through your appearance and behavior before you say a word. Hone your Verbal Business Card, the front end of your elevator pitch that is only 10-15 seconds long and contains benefits of doing business with you or hiring you. It has an active verb that follows your name and touches others emotionally and helps them “feel” the power of what you do.

If you are in the Chicago area and want to hear more tips for networking when in transition, attend the June 14, 2010 Opportunity Seekers for Professional in Transition III where I am keynoting. The organizers are working on a live feed. Check back as I will include the link immediately if this becomes a reality. The link is http://www.ustream.tv/channel/opportunity-seekers-for-professionals-in-transition#more

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